also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
