There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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