i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
