I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
