Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
