I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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