Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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