"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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