Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
