Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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