Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize