Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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