Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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