you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I could fuck to npr.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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