I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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