Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this will be a night to untag.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
