pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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