You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
