My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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