I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
