You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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