I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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