hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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