Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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