all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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