If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
