Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
