If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
