I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
