everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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