too bad you live with your parents still
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
