I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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