i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is wine microwaveable?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
