u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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