Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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