I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize