eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
