Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize