Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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