You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
