His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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