What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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