I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
