It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
