that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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