you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill