i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
