I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
