I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So much rum. So many feels.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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