the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
