last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize