quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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