I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize