he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
