porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
