oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize